Dr. Jager BBQ Sauce

 

Couple months ago I’m cruisin’ down the street ‘n I find a huge case of records. Most were garbage BUT I did snag 6 or 7 DISCO records – tiiiight. So then couple weeks ago I turned 25 ‘n naturally I’m like “Yeea, time for a chocolate disco party!” Cuz for reals what better way to celebrate?

Obviously it was hella-cool: I’m talking chocolate fondue (along with copious other chocolate), spicy cheezey fondue, hookah lounge in the bassment (underglow poppin’ everywhere) ‘n so much dancing all night long.

Anyways, I guess people know how much I like Dr. Pepper, cuz in the morning I realize my fridge is straight stocked yo – ‘n all these bottles is ’bout to go flat.

‘n I also had a bit of Jager kickin’ in my crystal.

So I made some Dr. Jager BBQ Sauce.

yield: ’bout a cup
time: an hour
suggested tunage: in the spirit of chocolate disco . . .

 

Ingredients:
– 2 cups Dr. Pepper
– 2 shots Jagermeister
– 2 Tbsp bacon phat
– 3 cloves Garlic, minced
– 1/2 an onion, minced
– 2 Tbsp. Worceshershire
– Sriracha to taste
– salt ‘n pepper to taste
– 2 Tbsp vinegar (I used apple cider)

1. Hit up a nice pot wit dat delicious Dr. Pepper. Crank da heat ‘n let it bubble ‘n boil for a while. Maybe 20 minutes, maybe an hour. It’ll get all nice ‘n sizzurp like.

2. In a separate pan, saute the minced garlic ‘n onion in that bacon phat. Yeeeea, get that shiz nice ‘n golden.

3. Add the golden garlic ‘n onion to the Dr. P-sizzurp. Add the rest of the ingredients. Bring that back to a simma simma. (WHO GOT DA KEEYS?!)

4. Let that cook for a while. Taste it up ‘n adjust if need be. Maybe throw some more salt or suga in it – it’s probs dope as is tho.

That’s it that’s all homie.

Now find something delicious to BBQ so you can smack dat sauce all over da place.

yo da recipe fo these dank ribs comin’ yo way soontimez!

Much love,
LamBERT

Street cred:
– Ahh jeepers I forget what sources I used on this bad-boy. I think I just looked up BBQ sauces on Foodgawker ‘n improvised off dat.

how to make gravy – faceplant style

So I’ve been kickin’ it a bunch lately with the Nelson Brewery – more specifically their “Faceplant” organic winter ale. It’s a mighty fine brew ‘n every time I go grab a case, the cashier kindly lets me know I should use it to make stu.

But we ain’t makin’ no stu.
We climbin’ aboard the gravy train with this brew.

supafly brew = supafly gravy

For a good gravy you need some thick drippings homie. Luckily, my roommate Devo just grabbed a nice bird from Duggie Fresh! Decent lookin’ 9 lb chicken from a buddy – nice to know where yo meat comin’ from you know?

Anyways makin’ a roast is easy-peeze dude. We tossed this bird in a big roasting pan with tons of veggies: onions, garlic, potatos, yams, parsnips, carrots, kale ‘n broccoli (I think some raw BEETz made it in there, but that could’ve been da Bose kickin’ in da kitchen). Then hit up the pan wit tons of herbs ‘n spices ‘n salt ‘n pepper – and a full can of this Faceplant Winter Ale (yee, this is the brew that we be slurpin’ at the ski hill here in Nelson).

‘n then . . .

Here’s a DOPE trick for kickin’ yo roasts up a notch: grab a stick of butter ‘n grate that dairy goodness all over the place. Seriously dude, that ain’t cheese in da pic.

yeea – here in lambert’s kitchen, we grating butta all casual like

Yield: 2 or 3 cups gravy
Time: after the roast is made – 10 minutes
Suggested tunage: bumpin’ some Tribe

Ingredients:
– half an onion, diced small
– couples tablespoons of butter
– 3 Tbsp. flour
– all ’em Faceplant drippin’s
– salt ‘n pepper

1. To make a nice thick gravy start with the butter and onions in a frying pan. Saute up real nice over medium high heat. That be waftin’ propa!

2. Next add the flour ‘n stir it up. Get that flour nice ‘n incorporated like yeeeeea.

3. Add the drippings from the roast. We had ’nuff drippins here like maybe almost three cups. If you ain’t got that much you can cut it with some milk or more beer or something.

4. Bring it back up to a gentle boil ‘n it will start to thicken up smooth like.

5. Salt ‘n season it up to yo preference ‘n smother that shiz over everything dude.

SAUCIN’ IT UP.

Peace yo,
Lambert

Street cred:
– well I suppose the kind cashier at the liquor store gets some cred for this. Also my homeboy Devo for getting this bird and throwing the roast together – bomber yo.

some thai sauces yo

Yo thai food is bomb-diggy. Straight up dynomite – yea homie, dynomite. Ain’t no other way to put it – ’em thai muthas got that shiz down tight yo. Here are two staple thai sauces: a nice sweet chili dipping sauce, and then that classic thai peanut sauce. They’ll blast any thai dish you make up to that next level delicious. Word.

Thai Sweet Chili Sauce:

fat albert gettin' wreckless on my necklace

Yield: ’bout a cup of sauce
Time: 20 minutes
Suggested tunage: check this new jam by A.Skillz

Ingredients:
– 2 red Jalapeno or Serrano peppers*
– 3 large G cloves
– 1/2 cup sugar
– 3/4 cup water
– 1/4 cup white vinegar
– 1/2 Tbsp salt
– 1 tsp cornstarch
– 2 tsp water

*all that hot shiz from the peppers comes from the seeds and the veins. If you ain’t no G, you should probably deseed the peppers first. But if you straight thug ‘n love that heat, keep the seeds in (I obvi kept those seeds yo)

1. Blend everything up, except the last two ingredients. Magic bullets are pimp.

2. Toss that in a saucepan and bring it up to a boil. Once it boils, lower the heat and simmer for like 5 minutes or so.

3. This step is optional – the cornstarch just thickens up the sauce, but a true thai chili sauce don’t got no cornstarch yo. Combine the cornstarch with the water, aside from the sauce. Whisk it up to a nice paste ‘n add it to the sauce. Stir it up ’til it thickens nicely. This sauce will keep in the fridge forever yo, still.

Easy Thai Peanut Sauce:

Yield: ’bout 3.5 cups
Time: 20 minutes
Suggested tunage: What She Said (I get stoked when these guys come on my ipod when I’m snowboarding)

Ingredients:
– ’bout like 2 cups peanuts or 3/4 cup peanut butter (the natural kind w/o all that sugar)
– 1/2 cup sugar (guess you could just use that normal peanut butter)
– 13 oz can coconut milk
– couple Tbsp. red curry paste
– 1/2 Tbsp. salt
– 2 Tbsp apple cider/white vinegar
– nice chunk of ginger
– 4ish strands of green onion
– some sriracha if it’s not hot enough

1. Blend up the ginger and green onion in a magic bullet. Get it nice and tight.

2. If you using peanuts, grind ’em up in a mortar/pestle . . . or toss ’em in yo magic bullet. Then whisk everything up in a saucepan over medium heat. You can let it boil up if you want, but don’t let that mutha burn.

3. This sauce will keep in the fridge for a long time too. It’ll thicken up tho, so when you wanna use it just thin it out with water.

Yours truly,
Lambert

Street cred:
– Yo I jacked both these recipes from this lady’s blog. Tons of good shiz there yo, check it out.

this ain’t no Baba Ganoush

Aiight yo, this is baba ganoush. But I had some chickpeas in the fridge that needed usin’ up, so I toss ’em in. But yo, mainly eggplant, still. Baba Ganoush is pretty dope – get those eggplants smokin’ on da barbie ‘n you know it’s gonna be some good dippin’.

straight dippin' thru hoodz

Yield: ’bout 2 cups dip
Time: 30 minutes
Suggested tunage: Cake yo.

Ingredients:
– one large eggplant
– ’bout 2 Tbsp tahini
– 2 G cloves
– 1 Tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
– 1/2 a lemon, juiced
– salt ‘n pepper to taste
– splash of olive oil
– 2 Tbsp plain yogurt
– leftover chickpeas in yo fridge (optional)
– paprika (optional too homie)

1. Tell Ken to eff off ‘n heat up yo barbie. Grab a fork and punch a bunch of holes in the eggplant. If you don’t do this, your eggplant will explode – not a good scene homie, trust. Grill yo aubergine over medium-high heat for ’bout half-hour, turning every so often. Should look like this – if it’s more burnt that be cool too.

2. Let that mutha chill for a while, ’til it aiight to touch. Slice ‘er in half, then scoop out all the flesh wit a spoon. Let the juice run out if it’s all juicin’ up in yo face.

3. Toss the yogurt, tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, salt ‘n pepper in a food processor. Blend it all up nice-like. Add the eggplant flesh and blend it up more.

4. Give ‘er a taste, probs add more salt. Garnish with the chopped parsley ‘n paprika if you in the spot lookin’ extra fly. Mint-doobie dogg.

Big up yoself,
Lambert

Street cred:
– recipe adapted from The World of Streetfood. Good book.

Guacamole – straight dippin’

I love guac for a couple reasons: first, it’s straight delicious; second, there is a magical quality about avocados that few realize – all the fly hunnies love avocados. To all my
homeboys out there who tryin’ to woo some nice chicas, I got one piece of advice: get that guac. Show ’em you straight dippin’ – the rest is eazy.

awwww yea, get that guac homie

Yield: Big ol’ bowl of guac
Time: 15 minutes
Suggested Tunage: Papoose ‘n the Game – Black Democrat

– 4 avocados (get ’em ripe, preferably from the discount cart in the produce section)
– 1 medium size tomato, diced
– 1 medium size white onion, diced
– 3 – 5 g. cloves, dependin’ on how g you is, minced
– 2 lemons or limes, dependin’ on yo citrus stylin’ – juice those muthas to get it taaangy
– 1/2 cup cilantro, finely chopped
– salt ‘n peppa to taste ‘n shoop

1. Cut the avocados in half and scrape out all ’em mushy greens into a bowl. Hit the bowl with yo citrus juice and the rest of the ingredients. Mash ’em all together until they a nice dippin’ consistency – there will be some chunks but it’s cool homie.

2. If you a true playa, garnish with some more cilantro and some lemon slices. Serve with chips, pita, stuff ’em in tacos or tortillas, throw it on a sandwhich –  heck yo, the possibilities are endless. If you know a fly hunnie with some Guatemalan skillz, serve the guac with some home-fried papoosas – dirty combo, yo.

those some hot papoosas!

Yeeea – get that Guac homie,
Lambert

Street creds:

– big ups to my cuz Malaya for this recipe – dope girl with some g’d up cookin’ skillz.
– delicious papoosa’s made by my homegirl Maya ‘n thanks to Rebeka for the camera

creamy garlic dipping sauce

It’s like 95% of people are severely addicted to that delicious-tasty creamy garlic dipping sauce from all ’em pizza parlours. For real, when my boyz order some ‘za (you can use “za” in scrabble homie) they get like 3 dipping sauces per person – you gotta be straight ballin’ to afford that. Anyways, home-made pizza is obvi better than ordering pizza (I’mma blog that soon-time), and trust yo, this dipping sauce tastes just like the others, but it’s mad cheap and mad gangsta.

What you got pizza pizza?

awwww yea, that's some sweet potato, kale 'n roasted garic 'za behind

Yield: some dipping sauce
Time: 5 minutes
Suggested tunage: Sam Roberts – Without a Map (love this jam right now)

Ingredients:
– spoonful of butter, at room temp
– spoonful of mayo (not that tangy zip shiz)
– spoonful of sour cream
– 2 cloves of garlic, minced
– salt to taste
– spices/herbs if you feelin’ buck-wild (I had some dill on hand)

1. Whip everything up in a bowl until it’s lookin’ so nice and creamy. Done.

Word yo,
Lambert